Laverne and Shirley Fan Fiction: Milwaukee Terror Part 3

Milwaukee Terror Part 3: IT can get you
Written by: S. Wilhelmina Feenster

FADE IN
SCENE 1
INT. LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

AS THE TERROR CONTINUES, SHIRLEY IS ALONE IN THE APARTMENT WITH PENNYWISE WHO JUST INFORMED HER OF CARMINE'S BRUTAL DEATH. HE THEN PROCEEDS TO A FURTHER LEVEL AND PULLS OUT A CLEAVER. SHIRLEY TRIES TO RUN BUT TRIPS OVER ONE OF LAVERNE'S CURLERS. PENNYWISE RAISES THE CLEAVER AND...

DOOR OPENS

Squiggy: Hell-o!

Shirley: (screaming) HELP ME, SQUIGGY!!

SQUIGGY, WHO WAS CARRYING A JAR FULL OF ANGRY MOTHS, TOOK ONE LOOK AT PENNYWISE AND THE CLEAVER AND FAINTED. THE JAR OF MOTHS BROKE. ALL OF A SUDDEN, ONE OF THE MOTHS ATTACKED PENNYWISE. HE DISAPPEARED.

Shirley: (looking at Squiggy) Oh, Squiggy!

Squiggy: (waking up) Shirley, why am I on the floor?

Shirley: You saved my life.

SHE HELPED HIM UP, HUGGED HIM, AND KISSED HIM.

Squiggy: Well, I'm, uh... do you wanna go into the bedroom?

Shirley: No, Squiggy! (Beat) I hope he's gone. He scared me. Even at Mickey and Mikey's party. He stared at me. (begins to cry) Oh, it's awful!

HE WALKED HER TO THE COUCH. THEY SAT DOWN.

Squiggy: Okay, now. Shut up, shut up.

Shirley: I never want to see a clown again!

DOOR OPENS

Lenny: Do you think they'd let me wash the elephants in this?

HE CAME THROUGH THE DOOR WEARING A CLOWN COSTUME. SHIRLEY SCREAMED BLOODY MURDER. LENNY GOT SCARED AND RAN OUT.

Squiggy: (trying to calm Shirley down) Let's see, uh... (tries to sing) "... hush a bye and drift away, uh... close the door and, uh, go away..." Oh, nevermind! I can never remember those words!

SHIRLEY BURIED HER READ IN HIS CHEST.

Shirley: He's dead.

Squiggy: No, Lenny was just scared. You...

Shirley: No, Carmine's dead. (Beat) That... that thing killed him.

Squiggy: You can say it, Shirl. Frank De Fazio. He tries to kill Lenny and me all the time. I guess...

Shirley: No, literally.

Squiggy: An English teacher?

Shirley: Argh! Why am I even talking to you?!

Squiggy: I'm the only one in the room. (puts her head in his lap) Go ahead, Shirley, cry. That's why I'm here. Here's my lap to cry over.

Shirley: You've been a good friend, Squig.

HE STROKES HER HAIR AND SHE FALLS ASLEEP.

SCENE 2
INT. LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY'S APARTMENT - MORNING

SHIRLEY HEARS A THUMP AND WAKES UP. SHE YAWNS AND WIPES THE SLEEPY FROM HER EYES. WHEN SHE SEES HER HAND, IT'S COVERED IN BROWNISH RED BLOOD. SHE LOOKS DOWN AND THERE IN HER LAP WAS SQUIGGY. HIS HEAD HAD BEEN SEVERED AND HIS ARMS AND LEGS AMPUTATED FROM HIS BODY. SHIRLEY TRIED TO SCREAM, BUT COULDN'T. THE THUMP SHE HEARD BEFORE SHE WOKE UP WAS THE SOUND OF SQUIGGY'S HEAD HITTING THE HARD WOOD FLOOR. HER WHOLE BODY WAS NUMB. SHE NOTICED IN HER RIGHT HAND, A LARGE CARVING KNIFE. THEN SHE HEARD WHAT SOUNDED LIKE POLICE CARS RACING DOWN THE STREET. SHE PANICS AND TRIES TO ESCAPE. IN AN INSTANT, SHE ROLLED SQUIGGY'S REMAINS ONTO THE FLOOR AND RAN INTO THE BATHROOM.

INT. BATHROOM

SHIRLEY, STILL FEELING UNEASY ABOUT WHAT HAD JUST TRANSPIRED, TURNS ON THE SHOWER. SHE TESTS THE WATER WITH HER FINGERS. HOT, STINGY TO THE TOUCH. HOT ENOUGH TO PUT HER MIND AT EASE ABOUT WASHING OFF THE BLOOD. THE BLOOD OF HER FORLORN, FUNNY LITTLE FRIEND. THE STEAM ROSE AROUND HER, CARRESSING HER SKIN, AND TEASING HER ALREADY SHAKY NERVES. A GHOST HAUNTING HER, PERHAPS HER FALLEN CARMINE. TO THINK, HER ANGEL BODY, WITHOUT THE BODY, SOMEWHERE IN HEAVEN, TAP DANCING FOR GOD! I HOPE THAT HE DOESN'T TRIP ON CLOUD 9. THE WATER GOES COLD, SO SHIRLEY REACHES DOWN QUITE QUICKLY AND TURNS IT OFF. BEING THE "PRUDE" THAT SHE IS, SHE REACHES OUT FROM BEHIND THE CURTAIN AND FUMBLES AROUND UNTIL SHE FINDS HER BATHROBE ON THE TOWEL RACK. [WOULDN'T YOU THINK I'D BE ON THE DOOR?!] SHE SWIFTLY PUTS IT ON AND STEPS OUT FROM BEHIND THE CURTAIN IN A CLOUD OF STEAM. CLEAN, FRESH, AND RENEWED TO MOVE ON WITH HER LIFE. SHIRLEY COMES OUT OF THE BATHROOM. SHE LOOKS DOWN AT SQUIGGY, WHO'S SEVERED HEAD WAS AT HER FEET.

Shirley: (crying) What am I going to do?!

THERE'S A KNOCK AT THE DOOR. SHIRLEY ANSWERS. HER FOOT SKIDS ON THE FLOOR. WHEN SHE LOOKS DOWN, THERE, IN A POOL OF BLOOD, AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS WAS LAVERNE. HER INTESTINES EXPELLED FROM HER ABDOMEN, FROM HER NECK DOWN. LAVERNE'S NECK WAS BROKEN FROM THE FALL.

Shirley: Oh, Laverne! This is a nightmare!

SHE BEGINS TO CRY. THE STAIRS CREAK, SHIRLEY LOOKS UP AND PENNYWISE STANDS WITH A HANDFUL OF BALLOONS.

Pennywise: Here, Shirley! I have a surprise for you!

A DENSE FOG TRAVELS DOWN THE STEPS AND A FIGURE APPROACHES WITH WHAT LOOKED LIKE A BALLOON TIED TO IT. WHEN THE FOG CEASED, SHIRLEY'S JAW DROPPED. SHE SAW MRS. BABISH, WITHOUT A BODY, HER EYES SHUT, AND A BALLOON TIED TO HER HAIR. SUDDENLY, MRS. BABISH'S EYES ROLLED UP TOWARDS SHIRLEY AND A GURGLING NOISE CAME FROM HER MOUTH.

Mrs. Babish: I can float, Shirley! Wanna join us?!

SHIRLEY RAN BACK INTO THE APARTMENT AND SLAMMED THE DOOR. KEEPING HER EYES ON THE DOOR, SHE STEPS BACK SLOWLY AND FALLS BACKWARDS. WHEN SHE LOOKS TO SEE WHAT SHE FELL OVER, THERE, IN A POOL OF BLOOD LAY CARMINE. HIS HEAD GONE AND BOO BOO KITTY'S HEAD ATTACHED. ON HIS SHIRT WRITTEN IN BLOOD WAS, "ANGEL BODY ONLY!" SHIRLEY RUNS TO THE KITCHEN TO FIND AN IMPLEMENT TO AVENGE THE ONE WHO BUTCHERED HER BELOVED. SHE REACHES FOR THE REFRIGERATOR DOOR AND LOOKS INSIDE. IN BETWEEN THE MILK AND PEPSI, SHE SAW CARMINE'S SEVERED HEAD. WITHOUT HESITATION, SHE SLAMMED THE DOOR. SHE STARTED TO RUN, BUT STOPPED AND OPENED THE DOOR AGAIN. THIS TIME, THE HEAD WAS GONE.

Shirley: Pepsi, in the frig? Laverne never...

SOMETHING GRABBED HER FROM BEHIND. WHEN SHE TURNED TO SEE WHAT IT WAS, SHE SAW BOO BOO RAGUSA! PART BOO BOO KITTY,(HEAD) PART CARMINE RAGUSA,(BODY) SHE BACKS FAR INTO THE KITCHEN WHILE HE STEPS CLOSER.

Boo Boo Ragusa: (Boo Boo Kitty voice) Come with me, Angel Face. I can float now! You can float too, Shirley! Everything floats down here!

HE COMES EVEN CLOSER. SUDDENLY, BOO BOO RAGUSA'S EYES STARTED GLOWING BLACK. SHIRLEY SCREAMED AND HIT BOO BOO RAGUSA OVER THE HEAD WITH A FRYING PAN. IT FELL TO THE FLOOR. THE APARTMENT WAS SILENT. SHIRLEY WALKED AROUND IN HORROR. HER FRIENDS WERE DEAD. SHE FELT A SHARP PAIN SURGING THROUGH HER BACK. THEN SHE HEARD A DERANGED LAUGH. WHEN SHE TURNED AROUND, SHE SAW LENNY WEARING A RED NOSE AND CARMINE'S HEAD IN HIS HANDS.

Shirley: Lenny, you didn't.

SHIRLEY FELT ANOTHER SHARP PAIN.

Lenny: You're right.

HE GRABBED A BUTCHER KNIFE AND CUT DOWN THROUGH HIS STOMACH. OUT OF HIS BODY CAME PENNYWISE.

Pennywise: You're it, Shirley!

THE PAIN IN HER BACK GOT MORE INTENSE. HER EYES GOT WIDE AND SHE FELL FACE DOWN ON THE COUCH. STICKING OUT OF HER BACK, WAS A DOUBLE-EDGED BLADE.

Pennywise: You can float, Shirley! I told you so!

SUDDENLY, THERE WAS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR. PENNYWISE DISAPPEARS. THE DOOR CREAKS OPEN BY ITSELF. THERE, IN THE HALLWAY STOOD GIZMO, OUR FRIENDLY LITTLE MOGWAI! PENNYWISE MOVED FROM MILWAUKEE TO DERRY, MAINE. IT TERRORIZED MANY CHILDREN!

FADE TO:
LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY SKIPPING DOWN THE SIDEWALK CHANTING, "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, SCHEMIEL, SCHELMAZEL, HASSENPHEFER, INCORPORATED!"

FREEZE FRAME
FADE TO:
WHITE SCREEN, READS, "IT Could Happen To You!"

THE END

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