Laverne and Shirley Fan Fiction: Milwaukee Terror Part 2 Milwaukee Terror Part 2
Written by: S. Wilhelmina Feenster

FADE IN:
SCENE 1
INT. LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

FROM LAST I LEFT OFF, LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY RETURNED TO THEIR APARTMENT EXAUSTED FROM THE PARTY AND HEADED FOR THE BEDROOM. LAVERNE NOTICED A RED BALLOON TIED TO BOO BOO KITTY. SHE NUDGES SHIRLEY.

Shirley: (noticing Boo Boo Kitty) What is he doing with a balloon tied around his neck?

LAVERNE SHRUGS. THERE'S A CRASH IN THE BEDROOM. SHIRLEY HANGS ONTO LAVERNE IN FEAR OF BURGLARS. SUDDENLY THE PHONE RINGS. LAVERNE PICKS UP THE RECEIVER.

Laverne: Hello?

Squiggy: Hell-o!

Laverne: Is that you, Squig?

Squiggy: Oh course it's me, WOMAN!

Laverne: Are you still in Bangor, Maine?

Squiggy: No. We're in a place called Castle Rock. We left Maine yesterday on account that Lenny got bit by an angry moth and a mad dog chased us. That Big Mac(Mic Mac) burial ground is hard to get to. Lenny ripped his pants climbing through the scrubs.

Laverne: Where abouts is this Castle Rock?

Squiggy: Well, it's some place called Organ.(Oregan) I don't know why it's called Castle Rock. I don't see one castle here. (to Lenny) Do you see a castle, Len?

Laverne: Forget it. Are you coming home?

Squiggy: Yeah, but we gotta get ourselves a couple of chick-a-roonies from a place called Needful Things.

SQUIGGY MAKES KISSY NOISES OVER THE PHONE.

Laverne: Have fun! Bye!

LAVERNE HANGS UP THE PHONE. THE SHOWER STARTS RUNNING AND THE GIRLS PANIC.

Shirley: (whining) Someone's using our shower.

Laverne: Grab a bat.

THEY GRAB THE BASEBALL BATS NEAR THE DOOR. STEP BY STEP, THE GIRLS MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE BEDROOM. LAVERNE TURNS ON THE LIGHT. THERE'S NOTHING. THEY MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE BATHROOM AND TURN ON THE LIGHT. THE SHOWER INSTANTLY STOPS. SHIRLEY MOTIONS FOR LAVERNE TO CHECK THE SHOWER. LAVERNE VICE VERSA.

Shirley: I don't want to check in there, Laverne. What is he's naked?

Laverne: Close your eyes.

Shirley: No.

Laverne: Then we'll choose. (Beat) (like eeney meeney miney moe) Inka Dinka bottle of ink, the cork fell out and you stink. (Laverne loses) Why do I always lose?

LAVERNE SLOWLY APPROACHED THE SHOWER CURTAIN AND QUICKLY SNAPPED IT OPEN. IT'S EMPTY.

FADE IN:
SCENE 2
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY ARE LYING AWAKE IN THEIR BEDS. SHIRLEY HOLDS BOO BOO KITTY TIGHT WHILE LAVERNE SPRAYS WHIPPED CREAM IN HER MOUTH.

Shirley: Laverne?

Laverne: What.

Shirley: Do you suppose our apartment is haunted?

Laverne: Don't be silly, Shirl. Ghosts don't visit poor people.

Shirley: But suppose one did?

Laverne: Will you stop?! There are no such things as ghosts! Go to sleep!

JUST THEN, A TAPPING NOISE BEGAN.

Shirley: What's that?

Laverne: Probably just the wind.

FOLLOWING THE TAPPING NOISE, WAS A GROWLING AND HISSING NOISE.

Shirley: Was that the wind too, Laverne?

THEY HEARD A CRASH. IT CAME FROM THE KITCHEN.

Shirley: Oh, Laverne, we're going to die!

Laverne: Knock it off, Shirl. (Beat) You go check it out.

Shirley: (whining) Me?!

Laverne: Yeah. I checked the shower, now it's your turn.

Shirley: Alright. Don't be a baby. I'll go with you.

THE GIRLS CREEPED OUT OF THE BEDROOM AND HID BEHIND THE WALL. THEY COULD SEE THE REFRIGERATOR PROPPED OPEN AND A SHORT FIGURE DRINKING LAVERNE'S MILK. SHIRLEY BIT HER RIGHT INDEX FINGER WHILE LAVERNE GOT A CASE OF THE MONKEY NERVES. AS SHIRLEY REACHED FOR THE BATHROOM LIGHT, SOMETHING SLIMY AND SCALY GRABBED HER LEG. SHE SCREAMED. LAVERNE FLIPPED ON THE BATHROOM LIGHT. WHAT THE GIRLS SAW MADE THEIR FACES TURN SHEET WHITE. OVER 50 GREMBLINS SCATTERED AROUND THE GIRL'S APARTMENT.

Shirley: We're gonna die, Laverne.

Laverne: Yeah, I'm still a virgin.

AS IF THIS COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE... A TREMENDOUS SPARK CAME FROM THE KITCHEN. ONE OF THE GREMBLINS PLACED THE GIRLS TOASTER IN THE SINK, FILLED WITH WATER AND UNPLUGGED. THE GREMBLINS LAUGHED A THE SPARKS FLEW. LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY LOOK THE OPPROTUNITY TO GET OUT THE DOOR AND RUN UPSTAIRS TO CARMINE'S.

FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
SCENE 3
INT. CARMINE'S APARTMENT-MORNING

SHIRLEY AND CARMINE ARE ASLEEP ON THE COUCH IN EACH OTHER'S ARMS. LAVERNE'S CURLED UP IN A CHAIR. WHILE ASLEEP, SHIRLEY HEARD A VOICE.

Voice: Shirley?! Girlie Shirley?! Shirley the Squirrelie?! Chicken Shirley?!

SHIRLEY WOKE UP AND LOOKED OVER AT LAVERNE WHO WAS ASLEEP SMILING. SHE GRABBED A COUCH CUSHION AND THREW IT AT LAVERNE.

Laverne: (sitting up) What'd you do that for, Shirl?

Shirley: You know why. Cut it out!

Laverne: I told I was sorry for using Boo Boo Kitty as a pin cushion.

Shirley: No, Laverne. You were calling me names.

Laverne: No, I wasn't. I was asleep.

Shirley: Then why were you smiling? (pause) Nevermind. It's too early for smut. (looks at Carmine) Isn't he cute when he's asleep? (softly) Carmine? (looks at Laverne) Laverne, turn around.

Laverne: Why?

Shirley: Because I said so.

Laverne: Yes, mother.

LAVERNE TURNS HER HEAD. SHIRLEY STROKES CARMINE'S HAIR AND BLOWS IN HIS EAR. THEN SHE UNBUTTONS HIS SHIRT SLIGHTLY AND RUBS HIS CHEST. CARMINE SMILES AND SHE KISSES HIS LIPS SOFTLY.

Carmine: (opening his eyes) Good morning, Angel Face. (looks around) Am I dreaming? Did you spend the night in my apartment?

Shirley: Yes, but nothing remotely smutty happened.

Laverne: (turned around) Can I look now?

Shirley: Yes, Laverne.

LAVERNE TURNED AROUND.

Carmine: Do you girls want breakfast?

Laverne: Yes. I'm starved.

AFTER BREAKFAST THEY WENT BACK DOWN TO THEIR APARTMENT WITH CARMINE. WHEN THEY OPENED THE DOOR, THE PLACE WAS IN COMPLETE SHAMBLES. LAVERNE LOOKED OVER AT SHIRLEY WHO'S EYES WERE FIXATED ON BOO BOO KITTY IN THE BLINDER.

Shirley: (in shock) M-my cat. (pause) Those monsters killed Boo Boo Kitty!

Voice: (only Shirley could hear) Shirley? Boo Boo Kitty's with me now. He's covered with balloons. Do you want a balloon, Shirley? They float! They all float! Try one and see! We all float down here, Shirley!

JUST THEN, A RED BALLOON CAME FLOATING IN THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR AND STOPPED IN FRONT OF SHIRLEY.

[CONT'D VOICE] You'd like it here, Shirley! There are doctors of all kinds and furry woodland creatures! Take a balloon!

SHIRLEY GRABBED FOR THE BALLOON.

[VOICE FADES] Oh, you'll like it and oh, Shirley, how'll you'll float!

THE BALLOON POPPED AND SHE COULD HERE FUNNY CIRCUS MUSIC. WHEN SHIRLEY LOOKED DOWN, SHE WAS COVERED IN BLOOD. SHE SCREAMS. AS LAVERNE LOOKED OVER TO SEE WHAT WAS THE MATTER, SHIRLEY BOLTED FOR THE BATHROOM.

FADE OUT:
SCENE 4
FADE IN:
INT. LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

SHIRLEY SITS ON THE COUCH TRYING TO PUT BOO BOO KITTY BACK TOGETHER. LAVERNE COMES OUT OF THE BEDROOM WITH A HANDFUL OF "L'S."

Laverne: Those monsters ate my "L's!"

Shirley: Oh, Laverne. Boo Boo Kitty's lost a lot of stuffing. (putting her hand on her forhead) I don't think he's gonna make it.

Laverne: We'll bury him outside.

Shirley:(crying) My father gave him to me. I was going to give him to my daughtar. It's just no fair. I should've been first, not him.

Laverne: We'll take him to Woo Fong Lee. He'll fix him up like new.

Shirley: I hope so.

Laverne: Shirl, you never told me why you ran into the bathroom earlier.

Shirley: I don't want to talk about it.

Laverne: About what?

Shirley: (gets up) I'm gonna take Boo Boo Kitty to Woo Fung Lee's.

Laverne: Shirl, it's 10:30p.

Shirley: Tomorrow, Laverne. Tomorrow.

SHE PLACES BOO BOO KITTY IN A SHOE BOX AND GETS READY FOR BED. LAVERNE PUTS HER "L'S" ON THE LIVINGROOM TABLE AND GOES INTO THE BEDROOM. OUT OF NOWHERE, A GREMBLIN APPEARS. HE LEAPS ON THE COUCH, WHILE MORE GREMBLINS COME FROM BEHIND COUNTERS, UNDER THE COUCH, OUT OF THE CLOSET, AND FROM DRESSERS. TWO GREMBLINS TAKE TURNS JUMPING ON THEIR GREEN FUZZY DICE. ONE GREMBLIN RAN TO THE RECORD PLAYER AND USED SHIRLEY'S "DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL" RECORD AS A FRIZBEE. IT HIT THE DUMB WAITER AND FELL INTO THE SINK. THEY CONTINUED TO GRAB MORE RECORDS. OTHER GREMBLINS TOOK IT UPON THEMSELVES TO THROW DISHES. WHILE IN THE BATHROOM, SHIRLEY FELT SOMETHING CLIMBING UP HER LEG. SHE CALLS FOR LAVERNE, BUT NO ANSWER. AS SHE GOES TO LOOK DOWN, SHE HEARS CIRCUS MUSIC. NOTHING IS CRAWLING UP HER LEG WHEN SHE LOOKS DOWN. AFTER RAISING HER HEAD, SHE NOTICES IN RED PAINT(OR WAS IT?) A MESSAGE THAT READ: "YOU'RE NEXT!" SHIRLEY RUNS INTO THE LIVINGROOM AND IS IMMEDIATELY ATTACKED BY A GREMBLIN. HER SCREAMING BRINGS LAVERNE OUT OF THE BEDROOM. LAVERNE ACCIDENTLY STEPS ON A GREMBLIN AND GREEN OOZE SQUIRTS OUT.

Laverne: I killed him. (looks down at her shoes) These were my new shoes I bought today. Now they got green stuff on them.

Shirley: Who cares about your shoes! Help me!!

LAVERNE CAPTURES THE GREMBLIN OFF OF SHIRLEY, WHO TRIES TO RIP HER LAST "L." SHE THEN PROCEEDS TO DROP KICK THE GREMBLIN, HE HITS THE KITCHEN COUNTER, AND A BUTTER KNIFE FALLS OFF, AND STABS HIM TO DEATH.

Laverne: Come on, Shirl.

Shirley: Where?!

Laverne: The bedroom. I have an idea.

THE GIRLS WENT INTO THE BEDROOM. WHEN THEY CAME OUT, THEY WERE WEARING 4 INCH HEELS.

Laverne: Are you ready?

Shirley: (hesitant) Okay.

ONE BY ONE, THE GIRLS BEGAN STOMPING THE GREMBLINS TILL THERE WERE NO MORE LEFT.

Shirley: Is that all of them?

Laverne: Yea...wait. (STOMP!) Yeah, that's all of them.

Shirley: (yawn) What time is it?

Laverne: (goes into the bedroom) It's almost...2am!!!

Shirley: Oh, Laverne. We have work tomorrow. Can't we not go to work?

Laverne: Nope. We played hooky a couple of weeks ago, remember?

Shirley: Yeah. (Beat) Who's gonna clean this mess up?

Laverne: Let's wait till tomorrow.

THEY SLOWLY MOVED TO THE BEDROOM.

SCENE 5
A WEEK LATER.
INT. LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

SHIRLEY IS CUDDLED UP ON THE COUCH READING POO POO PUPPY "THE POKEY LITTLE PUPPY." LAVERNE IS ON A DATE WITH OFFICER NORMAN HUGHES.

Shirley: What am I doing? This was Boo Boo Kitty's favorite book.

SHE PUT DOWN THE BOOK AND PLACED POO POO PUPPY BACK ON THE SHELF. THERE'S A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.

Shirley: (runs to the door, locks it, and in a low voice) Who is it?

Voice: (singing) "You know I'd go from rags to riches!"

Shirley: Carmine!

SHIRLEY UNLOCKS THE DOOR AND SHIRLEY STANDS IN THE DOORWAY WITH A HANDFUL OF BALLOONS. AN ICY CHILL RACED UP SHIRLEY'S SPINE.

Shirley: Balloons, Carmine?

Carmine: Yeah. Can I come in?

Shirley: Sure.

SHE SHUT THE DOOR. SHIRLEY NOTICED CARMINE WAS WEARING RED FLOPPY SHOES. CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYED IN HER HEAD AGAIN.

Carmine: I love balloons, Shirl. They float. Just like me.

PENNYWISE GAVE SHIRLEY A VISION OF CARMINE FLOATING IN A STREAM OF HIS OWN BLOOD. WHEN SHE LOOKED AT CARMINE ON THE COUCH, IT WAS PENNYWISE.

Pennywise: Do you want to float like Carmine?

OUT FROM BEHIND HIS BACK CAME A HUGE CLEAVER.

[CONT'D] You can float, Shirley~ And soon, all your friends will float too! Join Carmine! Let's see if his little Angel Face can float!

SHIRLEY TRIES TO RUN, BUT SHE TRIPS OVER ONE OF LAVERNE'S CURLERS. PENNYWISE RAISES THE CLEAVER AND...

To Be Continued...

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